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America's break up with men: Part 1

It’s not hard to see that more and more men are struggling to find their footing as they enter adulthood. They seem to be drifting, lost, unmotivated, and frustrated. I came across an article in the New York Times that discussed girls are more prepared to start school than boys, not to mention, that young men in huge numbers between ages 25-34 are absent in the workforce.[i]


Another article cites physical and mental health concerns keeping them out of the work force.[ii]  My interpretation and concern is that the struggle for boys and men starts early and escalates as boys grow into men. As someone who is raising a son and trying to help others do the same this report is alarming to see. It is not the first article highlighting the growing concern about men’s apparent growing absence in society.  Leaving men behind hurts everyone. Absentee fathers increase child poverty and increase risks for poor childhood health outcomes.[iii]  

Research also indicates that men are more likely to NOT ask, or look, for help in solving their problems and instead expect themselves to struggle alone.[i] Indeed, I have known plenty of men go years if not decades between an annual physical appointment with a medical provider. Their theory of “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” implies that there is no need for help unless something is wrong. The problem with this approach is that sometimes you find out too late that something is wrong. It is important

for men to be able to get regular checkups to make sure that there isn’t something under the surface that will wreck their health.


For example, there was urgent attention for men to have well checks and colonoscopies following the death of famed actor Chadwick Boseman.[i] The good from this situation is a greater awareness that men must also pay attention to their health even if they feel and look healthy. This approach means that you don’t just seek physical health help only when the prognosis is bad. Similarly, you don’t just reach out for mental health support when there is a crisis.  The article from the New York Times also notes alarming rates of suicide among men accounting for 3 out of 4 “deaths of despair.”[ii]  Research also indicates specifically that African-American males have a history of trust issues with their medical providers as well as concern that psychological providers won’t know how to understand their cultural perspectives.[iv] The concern here is men are worried about seeking help to begin with and then when they do they fear being misunderstood.  These factors can contribute to men forgoing regular checkups resulting in setbacks to seeking future treatment. Below are a few tips that will help men begin to move forward and help with overall outcomes.


Below are a few tips that will help men begin to move forward and help with overall outcomes.

1-Men need to support other men to get help and find solutions to problems instead of soldiering alone. Many men love the comradery and support from their time in the military and men need to feel they are not alone.


2-Communities should provide more opportunities for men to get screenings and help whether from support at work or their local community.


3-Understanding that men tend to isolate or want to do things on their own can help others better relate to men. Just acknowledging this attribute in many men will make it easier to connect with them and get them the support they need.


4-Reinforcing the community and the family’s absolute need for men’s involvement will only create longevity for men to stay in their roles as long as possible.  Workplaces and families are better off with men in them.


--Jered B.

 


[i] Lindsey, Michael, and Arik Marcell. “‘We’re Going through a Lot of Struggles That People Don’t Even Know about’: The Need to Understand African American Males’ Help-Seeking for Mental Health on Multiple Levels.” American journal of men’s health. Accessed April 30, 2024. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22457264/.

[ii] Naik, Hiten, Maximilian Desmond Dimitri Johnson, and Michael Roger Johnson. “Internet Interest in Colon Cancer Following the Death of Chadwick Boseman: Infoveillance Study.” Journal of medical Internet research, June 15, 2021. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8277405/.

[iii] Brooks, David. “The Crisis of Men and Boys.” The New York Times, September 29, 2022. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/29/opinion/crisis-men-masculinity.html.

[iv] Lindsey, Michael, and Arik Marcell. “‘We’re Going through a Lot of Struggles That People Don’t Even Know about’: The Need to Understand African American Males’ Help-Seeking for Mental Health on Multiple Levels.” American journal of men’s health. Accessed April 30, 2024. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22457264/.


 



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