Play Time Is Over

When you were little, go back in time when you were small, playtime was the only thing that mattered. You didn't care about anything else. You didn't want to, sleep, you didn't want to eat. It was all about playing. If you have raised little kids, you know this to be true. And when we're young, we're engaged.

We've got our imaginations, we're creative. I loved to draw and paint as a kid and probably some of my most, imaginative times when I was younger. My brother and I would write stories together, we would illustrate them together. There was a tremendous amount of creative energy and I feel like sometimes as we age we lose a little bit of that.

We can lose the desire to play. Or find any joy in it. And we also can lose our imaginations, our creativity, because play takes a backseat to things that are high, stress, high intensity in ways that sometimes aren't helpful for us.

For example, many children now will get a performance measuring test, and many children will get very stressed about them. They're anxious. They're worried because it feels like if you don't pass this test, you're not going on to the next grade. And there's a lot of funding that's funneled to school districts and schools based on kids' performance.

So there is a lot of pressure sometimes put on kids to perform at a high level on these tests. And so from an early age you're really super focused on having to perform. And school has changed a lot over the years. I would say there is less creativity, less imagination, because now we're having to reshape curriculum to meet these performance metrics.

In order to meet these metrics we also push these performance tests into lower and lower grade levels. An unfortunate side effect of all this early pressure in school is that kids can start to resent going to school. It is hard to motivate kids if they're not enjoying school. If you hate school, you're not gonna try very hard to really get the work done or to learn. A lot of times when there's a level of enjoyment, when there's, creativity, imagination, good relationships with teachers, staff, and students, school is fun and therefore our effort level is higher.

I've noticed this lots of times over my professional life if I wanted a child to be able to do something or needed them to do something, if the relationship wasn't right with the adult, then it wasn't going to happen, even if it was in the child's best interest. I've seen lots of situations where kids do not communicate with someone that they need to, for their own sake or someone else's sake, because they don't like the adult that's questioning them, so they shut down. They don't communicate.

If we think about how that applies at schools, kids don't perform well in the classroom if they don't have a relationship with that teacher.

Kids already have enough stress from elementary school all the way through high school doing these benchmark tests to see if they're ready to go onto the next grade. A lot of kids are also taking the, SAT or the ACT prep classes to get ready to go to college,

I just want to acknowledge the fact that a lot has changed. As far as, what is expected and the intensity that comes with the standardized tests kids take. I know when I was doing clinical exams, for my career, you have a certain amount of time to do it.

You have to wait a certain amount of time, pay another $300 to do it again, and you only get so many tries. Otherwise you have to do continuing education and potentially might not be able to take it at all. There's a lot of pressure to perform and I just think it's hard enough on me as adult.

I remember. A lot of anxiety before going into that test. A lot of fear. I've also tried to help some people that were getting ready for those tests. Tons of anxiety, some that just decide, I don't think I can do it. They were going to stay in their current career path because they didn't think they could handle the anxiety of taking the test.

If this is how adults are feeling then imagine the intensity on a younger child. I want to acknowledge the pressure cooker that sometimes is, public education. It's not easy for anyone, teachers on down to students. During testing season it is good to remember a couple of tips as we try to help ourselves or our kids through it.

1. Try not to hype it too much. I feel like the school does plenty of that already. Help your kid relax and that their best is good enough, but leaning on them makes the anxiety worse. Kids will shut down sometimes or just really struggle on that test.

2. Also, just think the basic things like getting a good night's rest, getting a breakfast that morning of the test are super helpful.

   
   

3. Finally, problem solving with the kids is key. If they are having a lot of stress and anxiety about an upcoming test, helping them think through things is helpful and coming up with ways to cope with stress before, during, or after a test.

These tips can help a child calm down and relax before the test, helping them get the right frame of mind to take it.

In conclusion with so much performance stress and anxiety it is important not to forget to play. Playing is the balance, to that. It creates equilibrium play usually equals happiness. Whether it's riding motorcycles, going out on the boat and fishing, doing yoga, whatever it is you like to do. But you need to have that ability to play. It could be simple too. It could be you like to bake, it could be like to do art, and I just think.

Playing creates happiness. It helps us manage stress because we're enjoying parts of our life. We can't all be performance metrics all the time. We need to find ways to also relax and have some fun. Play also builds relationships. Sometimes parents tell me that they don't play with their kids, and I don't understand that. That's one of my favorite things to do as a parent is to play with my kids. Whether if your children are small playing army guys and tea parties, or when they're older, and it is Nerf guns and outdoor sports you should play with your kids.

Finally, I think playing does a lot to alleviate mental health. When I was talking about all these performance things that can really. Push our mental health to a tough spot. Playing and having that level of enjoyment, allows us not to overheat.

I think it's important to realize that you do need to play at times, find things that are good activities for you to play and don't forget to play with someone else.